What do I need to do to fix it?

Do you realize how much I love you? How much you hurt me when you ignore me. I need you in order to to keep sane, to rationalize my life. Without you in my life I can't seem to function. Tell me the reason why you left and I swear to you that I will fix it. No matter what it is, how I will do it, as long as it gets you back into my life I will do whatever I need to do.

Do you know that I stay up at night thinking about you? Do you know that my heart aches and the beating of it slows just a fraction each day when you aren't around. Can't you see the pain you are causing me. Tell me what I need to do to fix it. Ill do whatever it takes.

Is it money that you need? Is it more attention? Is it the way I handle you?  We use to be so close we shared everything. Now you feel like a stranger. What can I do to fix it, Ill do anything you want me to do. Come back and set me free... 

My Blanking Mind

Every time I turn you on and get ready to punch a key my mind freeze's. Why is it that in 12 years I look into my imagination well and I see nothing but blackness. A never ending black hole that I can even see a hint of light or a ray of hope. How do I wish for the words to flow out of my mind into my fingers and onto this sheet of paper as it did 12 years ago. It doesn't though. I sit here for one, ten, thirty minutes and all I see in a blank page laughing back at me. No I can't go through this day after day. I have to find release, I know there is something inside that well. I have to keep working, keep thinking, I know eventually the words will not only but they will flood my mind and my pore hands won't be able to write fast enough.

I have so many untold stories that could be share but this mind blocking fog is not lifting. Help someone please HELP ME find a way to lift this endless black fog. I want to tell my stories, I want to share my emotions, I just don't know when they went away. How do I get my best friend my Imagination back in full force.

Hopefully tomorrow will be the day. Even though I do not see the ray of light I know its there, small but yet so bright that eventually it will break free...